


The Articulation Complication

by Jenni_Snake



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-10
Updated: 2011-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-24 11:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/262960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenni_Snake/pseuds/Jenni_Snake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over lunch, Sheldon and Leonard try to get to the bottom of Raj's silence and Howard's nervousness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Articulation Complication

**Author's Note:**

> for Laura  
> (originally published 2010/11/13)

"No," Howard said nervously, "I don't think you can guess..."

He went back to attacking his salad with his plastic fork, avoiding eye contact with his friends. At his side, hunched up over a rapidly-cooling bowl of soup, Raj sat silent.

"The issuance of a defiant challenge!" Sheldon sang, boasting. "This makes solving the conundrum all the more fun!"

"I kind of wouldn't mind if you didn't," said Leonard with a grin. "It's nice to have lunch once in a while without either of them talking."

At that, both Raj and Howard shot him nearly identical dirty looks. He just smiled back all the more broadly.

"It's an intriguing set of data," mused Sheldon, his lettuce-tuna-salad-lettuce sandwich all but forgotten. "First, we're presented with a mute Koothrappali, a finding not in and of itself at all intriguing. However, his selective mutism is most typically, if not exclusively, accompanied by the presence of a member of the opposite sex..."

Here Sheldon paused to contemplate the subject of his inquiry, and, judging by his self-satisfied smirk, to gloat. Leonard attempted to keep a straight face at his friends' unease.

"Now, seeing as there is a distinct lack of females in this conversation, actively participating or otherwise, let alone in the near vicinity, that reason for him being rendered mute must therefore undergo a fundamental reconsideration.

"This coupled with the noteworthy lack of communication through Wolowitz, his preferred proxy method of communication, would indicate..."

Here he paused, ostensibly, an outsider would observe, to make up an answer, though his friends knew he had already come to some conclusion even before he had begun to speak. Howard cringed visibly. Sheldon savoured the agony of the moment in the same way that no one savoured the cafeteria food.

"... that Koothrappali had an incident with a woman so traumatising that, to this moment, he cannot forget her face, and it's as if she's right here with him. Wolowitz, of course, was present for said traumatising moment, explaining the awkwardness in front of him as well."

Sheldon beamed in triumph. Leonard frowned and knitted his brow.

"That's a bit of a lame conclusion."

"Don't blame the conclusion, Leonard, I can't help that their lives are so lame as to offer nothing more than that."

Howard was glaring back and forth between the both of them, chewing his bottom lip. Finally, he decided to speak.

"Well, you're wrong," he huffed.

Raj shrugged, nodding.

"Hmm," Sheldon hummed at the somewhat disappointing result of not having solved the enigma, but not allowing anyone else to elate in his defeat. "There must have been some unknown variable I failed to take into account."

Howard, who had for most of the time been silently and murderously staring at Sheldon, blew up.

"Unknown variable?" he choked. "You want an unknown variable? Fine! I'll give you an unknown variable!"

And with that, Howard leaned over and kissed Raj full on the lips before casting a haughty look at his other two friends and marching out of the cafeteria.

Grinning stupidly, Raj shrugged at Sheldon and Leonard's frozen stares.

"Well, you asked!" he said, and ate the rest of his soup in peace.


End file.
